queengilda.com

a quick outfit post before i go to bed. it’s 5:55am and i’m wide awake. am i crazy?? i need to sleep! i have to get up and go to work by 11! ugh! but before my head hits my pillow and i knock out, i wanted to post this up before it becomes yesterday’s news. what am i talking about… this was an outfit from the 27th, so it’s already a day old! old = stale = no good. haha!

anyway. oops, i did it again. i went overboard with dressing myself in the morning. i think i have a defective gene in my system that screams at me whenever i look in my closet each morning after my shower. it says, “gilda!!! go on! do it! you know you want to! you know you want to overdress!”

dammit. but well, this is what i wore for the 2nd time i worked on the floor at pat field’s. i’m not exactly sure how much i sold, because my name isn’t in the system (since i’m not technically an actual salesperson there). but i’m pretty sure i sold quite a bit and i was so happy. wheee!!

soft like silk tshirt by undercover
crazy denim skirt with tulle by apollo braun
glitter stockings by betsey johnson
chain necklace by mercibeaucoup;
cute flats by mercibeaucoup;
ugly hair by two months of no hair-cuts

i love my new stockings

aren’t they darling? i got them at century 21 (discount store yeah yeah yeah!) for like, 10 bucks. it’s a gorgeous turquoise colour and has these bright blue glittery lines running down the length of it. you probably don’t see that much of the turquoise color in the photos because it’s all stretched out by my fat legs hahahaha. but who cares i love ‘em! if it wasn’t disgusting to re-wear stockings, i’d wear them for the entire week, but alas, i have some sense of hygiene and have put it in my laundry basket with a sigh.

and yes yes you don’t have to tell me that my hair is disgustingly overgrown. i really hate it. it’s reddish-purple now with purple ends, but my roots are horrific and i obviously need a haircut. i’ve preached before about cutting one’s hair when it’s about time to get a haircut, but this is the first time i think i’ll admit that i have to eat my own words. my own post. literally. swallow it down.

the simple fact that i’m fucking broke overrides any other material or vain needs. i typically get a haircut every month because my hair strands are really thin (the only skinny thing about me and i hate it! HAHAHAHAAH!) and they are flatter than i ever want them to be, so i usually try to get a cut every month or at least 6 weeks, to bring some life to them. my hair does grow really fast, so not cutting it often means it gets really heavy and weighed down. it’s been more than 8 weeks since my last hair cut. oh my god i think i last cut my hair when school ended in mid may! that’s 10-11 weeks. it’s terrible and i hate that it looks so untidy! it’s a mess when i get up each morning and a pain to try and style.

i’ve been trying to keep it long and resisted cutting it for as long as i could. then just when i couldn’t take it any longer and badly wanted ayumi (my stylist) to work her magic on my hair, i went broke. then my cousin came to new york last week and going out to dinner everyday made me officially bankrupt.

did you hear me? i’m broke. broke broke broke!!! even my hello kitty piggy bank, i mean kitty bank, is shaking its head at me. it’s terrible. please send me a kfc coupon. or better yet, a peter luger’s gift certificate. pfft just kidding.

i’m sorry if you’re vegetarian and i hope i don’t piss you off, but in all honesty, every time i go broke, the only thing on my mind is a nice juicy steak. i think it’s because i try to cut down on all indulgences, my mind goes a little crazy and i just want fatty meat.

this week’s what i love about me, ties in with my recent post, “coming out of the closet“. i talked about the story of josh, and how we should all take little steps to achieving our dreams, because even little birds don’t fly at first try.

and writing that reminded me of one thing that i did love about myself. i am very very stubborn (in both good and bad ways). a good interpretation of it is that i am very determined and when i want something, i work my ass off to get it.

if i put my mind to it, i can achieve just about anything! ★

(yes, that photo was taken on a particularly hot and sweaty day. and since you can see some of my side profile, you’ll know that i do have the biggest, round head, as evil commenter #3 said! hahaha! whatever!!)

well one thing for sure, no matter how hard i try, i ain’t gonna get that head smaller. no one can diet on skulls and i’m happy with the quality of my brain in it, thank you very much!

enough about me and funny comments, here is one that i received on “coming out of the closet“.

casey-scott is so nice and cute, and he left such a great comment for me, i wanted to share it with everyone.

what i do love is that i was able to realise that the only person who truly matters, and who i truly have to do proud is myself. what other people think about us is really none of our business. accepting that, and realising that - in a non-narcissistic or self-absorbed way - i’m the most important person that i have to please, was such a release for me. i love that feeling of just pure comfortability (is that a word? ha!), and the way that happiness just feels so much more … pure, if that makes any sense?

and, you know what? i think the thing that i’ve found is that, in accepting who i was and allowing myself to navigate my own life, i’ve gained respect for it. “coming out of the closet”, whether it is about our sexuality or - like you raised - our dreams, is a huge step of courage; but it’s an amazingly liberating step at the same time.

life is good, and that’s worth celebrating.

don’t you think it’s great, how he put that in words? it’s something i always wanted to say but could never find the words to say it right. happiness really does feel “pure”, when you’re comfortable with yourself and who you are. and everyday becomes a celebration and every moment is worthy of a smile.

and as i’m typing this, i’m watching legally blonde 2 on tv, and smiling at how elle tells everyone to do her snap cup. wouldn’t it be great if we could all make one for ourselves and our friends, to highlight our achievements and give ourselves every little reason to feel proud of ourselves?

“gather around friends and foes together united and bound, pass it to your neighbor instead of blowing up, and we’ll find harmony and love in the snap cup!“

so snaps to you, casey-scott! you’re my hero today!

photo by barnsley anna

i was walking around the basement level of the patricia field store on monday, you know, doing my thang. no i’m bullshitting, i was going around looking at our merchandise, gathering stuff for the website. there was no one else on the floor except this one customer, a middle-aged guy, dressed in rolled up denim shorts, a washed-out tshirt, and glasses on his head.

although he didn’t look like our usual customer, i smiled and said hello, then didn’t take much notice of him as i looked through the racks. then out of the corner of my eye, i realized how shocked he looked. literally, he was in a state of shock, with his mouth slightly opened, his eyes wide, and his arms a little away from his body with his fingers all straightened. his head was turning slowly from side to side, and he was just looking around almost in some state of disarray.

“are you alright?” i asked.

“i’ve just never been in a store like this before,” he said. “tell me, do guys wear clothes like this too?”

“well, not all guys. but yes i have seen a lot of guys dressing up and going a little bling-bling. even if they don’t wear the clothing, some of them pile on the accessories,” i replied.

as i stood there for the next 15 minutes talking to him, he told me a lot of things about himself that he claimed had never told anyone before. he said that his “feminine, bi side is just screaming to get out”.

i learnt that his name was ****, let’s call him josh, and that he was from memphis. josh comes to new york every summer, but he had never heard of patricia field and had never been to the store. he had never explored his sexuality even though he knew he was different. “i’ve been looking for a store like this my whole life.”

“how is it like in memphis? are people open to gays?”

“oh no, you’d get killed. i mean, you wouldn’t get killed, but socially you’re as good as dead. people would ostracize you and shun you,” he said.

“well you’re in new york city now. if you think you want to explore this side of you, you’re in the perfect city to do it! and the perfect shop. no one’s going to look at you differently in here. everyone’s so nice and so open.”

josh seemed to take a liking to this particular accessory that i was standing next to, which was made out of very shiny silver beads and basically had strings of beads attached to a choker, giving it a sort of harness look. i showed him how to put it on and told him he could just wear it on bare skin if he wanted, or it could look great with a singlet or with a leather vest thrown over. “what do you think?” i asked him, after i had ushered him into the dressing room and he tried it on.

“i’m just taking it in right now, give me a moment. wow, this is so new to me and i’m so lost. i’ve never done this before. i’m just taking it in. wow…” he kept saying, covering his mouth with his hand at times.

my heart went out to josh. i know how it is like to live in a stifling situation where a part of you is dying to “get out” and yet it can’t. it is a terrible, terrible feeling.

josh said that he would be in town till wednesday, and so i told him that tuesdays in new york is gay night. he had a whole day to get ready, to take a deep breath, gather some courage, and go out and explore a new side of himself. i told him that if it was too overwhelming, that he shouldn’t attempt too big a step, but to take little ones until he becomes more comfortable with his sexuality. “don’t do a whole outfit and make yourself feel self-conscious. you can take small steps like starting out with accessories. a little bird doesn’t fly at first try.”

“thank you so much, gilda. i’m so glad it was you who i met. you were so nice to talk to me and tell me that it’s ok, if it’s really what i wanted. i was ready to run when i met you. literally, i was going to bolt out of the shop because i was so scared.”

it was the nicest thing i had heard all month.

i had to get back to work and introduced josh to one of my favorite stylists/sales assistants, omar, who helped josh try on a few different outfits. he left the store after a long while, without making any purchase. when i went upstairs to get something, the girl behind the register told me that josh sent his biggest hugs and thanks.

a few hours later into the day, josh was back and i spotted him trying bolder accessories and even leather harnesses.

i don’t know if he made a purchase in the end, but i know that even if he didn’t, that he would be back one day. maybe next summer, when he comes back to new york.

“how you do feel, gilda, now that you’re responsible for making someone gay?” asked mars, who also works in the store.

“i didn’t make him gay, he made it sound like he was almost choking because he had never allowed this side of himself to emerge before! i only told him that it was ok to let go!”

i felt like a mother bird watching her baby learn how to fly. and i wish i had given josh a hug.

i’ve never experienced the “i realized i’m gay” emotional rollercoaster (because i’m not), so i cannot even begin to imagine how hard it must be for some people. i’ve asked some gay friends of mine about it and some of them were born into such strict, religious families or environments, that they were really rejected by their own family and the societies they were in, when they came out of the closet.

my own “coming out of the closet” experience, was of a different sense. i realized the path of life that i wanted to take, and it was so different from who i was supposed to become. i had always been a science student and enjoyed physics and chemistry. i had wanted to be a vet when i was younger and had seriously read every single book about dogs in the national library. my parents had high hopes for me and sent me to the best schools to have the best possible education. then i decided to do fashion.

i can’t tell you how hard it was when i first told my parents about it. they were so angry. in singapore back then (i make myself sound so old), the only people who did fashion, or anything art-related, were the people who “couldn’t make it”. they were the people who couldn’t do well in school. or at least that was the image that people in singapore had. and many still have the same opinions today.

all my peers were going to university, to become doctors, lawyers, auditors, engineers, bankers. and there i was, telling my parents that i didn’t want to do university. i wanted to go into fashion where my passion lies. i knew i might not earn a living, i knew i’ll probably be living on bread and butter, but this is what i wanted to do. i was going to take the unbeaten path.

my mother was a little furious and screamed, “i thought all along that you wanted to become a vet!”

it was hard. and i was so angry and i felt so suffocated. i didn’t want to live a lie. i only get to live once. i wanted to just do what i was passionate about, and that was fashion. my parents wanted me to “go to university and get a proper degree, and then i can do whatever i wanted to after that”. but i didn’t want to waste my life away doing something that i had no interest in. i love animals, don’t get me wrong, but i realized that i couldn’t go through all the emotional heartache of being a vet and having to help dying animals and sad stories like that. what if i couldn’t save them? i couldn’t deal with my own dog’s death and i knew that it would kill me everytime a dog were to die in my clinic.

so i went against their wishes and started to work instead. my friends couldn’t understand me either. so for almost a year, i hardly kept in contact with any of them except my best friends who were always there for me.

it was a very difficult, long and winding road that i walked alone. this was also the time in my life when all sorts of shitty things happened, which i had talked about sometime ago. it took me 2 years, but in that time my parents, whose opinion and support mattered the most to me, finally grew to accept the new me, and now they encourage me whole-heartedly. my friends also came around and told me that they admired that i had the courage to follow my dreams.

i think that those 2 years, although difficult, forced me to really grow up and i discovered so many new things about myself. i also realized that if i put my mind to it, i can really achieve anything i wanted to. and look where i am right now? i’m living my dream and i’m not even pinching myself to check that i’m awake.

i hope i get to meet josh again. and i hope that the next time i get to see him, that he would be happy and smiling, instead of with a scared and bewildered look on his face.

to all of you joshes out there, don’t wait for someone to give you a little nudge. don’t drown in your own fear.

is there a side of you that is screaming to come out? is there a part of you that is waiting to be discovered? is there another you inside, that is getting suffocated?

or have you already come out of the closet?

today was a special day. if you’ve been following freebird, you’ll know that i am currently working part-time in the back office at patricia field’s shop. my work is basically to help out with the web orders, and also i work closely with the buyers (erm, to get merchandise to stock the shop!). that is what i’ve been doing the past couple of months. however, today, my manager asked me to help out in the store for a few hours in the evening.

help out. in the store. like the store-store. on the floor.

don’t get me wrong, i didn’t dread any of that. my dream in life isn’t to be a salesgirl, but my little secret is that i really do love it. the thing is, i grew up helping out in my parents’ shop. even when i was still quite a kid, i would go down and help sell stuff. when i was a teenager, i worked there during the school holidays to get some extra pocket money. i tend to get a little shy when meeting people for the first time, and i’m really bad at small talk and sometimes don’t know what to say. (so awkward. i am. very.)

but because i’ve worked in retail basically since i was a kid, i really love it. and because i sort of grew up doing that in my parent’s shop, to me, retail = my own business. when i later worked in a nail salon (please. nothing like the god-awful nail salons that are everywhere in new york.) for a short 3-month stint, i really learnt the importance of customer service. i was friends with all my clients, and got to know some of them really very well. i knew everything about their family, their job, their relationships, etc. i got to know them, and they, me. and they would come back again and again.

i believe it is because i make it a point to make their experience at my shop (even if it wasn’t mine) an enjoyable, memorable one.

one of my clients became such a good friend, i got to know her entire family and she later offered me a job as her p.a.! i went to work for her for 9 months before i left for tokyo, and it was one of my best work experiences. we’re still great friends to this day and my sister is now also friends with her whole family!

so. back to the story. even though i only worked on the floor for 5 hours today, i was excited about it. i mean, it’s been a while since i’ve done some sales job, but to me, it was like getting back to basics. i believe every customer is important, even if the sale is small. a happy customer will keep coming back, and that “small” will grow pretty big. trust me on that one. my parents also taught me to be my own boss. and if i’m not yet at that kind of level, then treat the place i’m working at, as my own. personally, it is this way of thinking i have that has helped me in all my work experiences, because my bosses trust me enough to know i will do a good job.

besides, patricia field has the best kind of clothes in new york. new york fashion is not what i thought it would be. people here really don’t dress up that much. yes, you do get the classy chic people. but the majority of the population is just a big blah. if you’re like me, you probably thought that new york was a pretty darn stylish place.

eh— wrong. sex and the city gave you the wrong impression. it sure gave me one. when i first came here, i was shocked. i thought, “where were all the beautiful people!?” the reason why new york looked as good as it did in sex and the city, is because of patricia field. you can’t argue against that. it’s a fact.

so it was great just working on the floor and helping out whichever customer i could. the kind of shopping experience you get in the store, the kind of stuff we actually have, is like no other in new york city. one lady picked up the leather finger tip gloves we have, and asked, “why do you guys make these gloves? why just 4 fingers? does it serve a purpose?”

i said, “its purpose is to be fabulous!! it doesn’t need any other reason! i bought one before i started working here and trust me it was worth every penny.”

i know i sound lame, but personally, i hope that customers, especially the ones i served, leave the shop feeling happy and satisfied!

did that last sentence sound like i was prostituting? hahaha.

my dream is to one day have my own little store, stocked with things that i love and things that i’ve designed myself. and i want to be there and sell my own things to my customers! personal service! that’s my ideal future.

anyway, some of you might know that i recently had the chance to meet loulou, the girl behind loulou loves you! she makes the cutest satin knickers and all kinds of bows. i make bows myself too, but loulou’s are big and too cute.

i know i have been posting too many outfit photos recently. i know that because i have received a couple of hate mail. haha! (they were too funny and some people have nothing better to do. i put myself out there and i’ve been honest about everything, so if you don’t like my blog, you can leave. but more on that another day!)

however, this bow was so cute and i got so many compliments on it, i couldn’t not put up a picture. thank you loulou! i wish i wasn’t so broke when i met you, or i would have bought more!

gingham bow by louloulovesyou
zamiang! tshirt by jun takahashi (undercover) for hysteric mini
the aristocats‘ marie purse from tokyo disney
turquoise crinoline
navy tights
studded boots by junya watanabe
neon pink watch by toy watch

the first thing my roommate said when i came home today was, “*gasp*! you walked around town like that?”

hahahahahahaha. i know. i’m an asian circus.

ps: oh man, i never realized my window was so disgustingly dirty! how did all those fingerprints get there? eek!!

i know a lot of you think i have such a fun and fabulous life filled with dress up parties. well, it’s true! haha no i’m just kidding. the truth is that i am sitting in my oversized tshirt and shorts as i’m typing this in my living room, because i don’t have an air conditioner besides the one in my own bedroom. yes, you heard me. i’m living in an oven.

the other truth is, that my last week was really filled with fun events. it was the independence day weekend here in america, and i also attended sushi’s birthday party (he’s one of my bosses). so of course it was an opportunity for me to dress up and be a little more costume-y than i normally am (as if i don’t already overdress all the time, right? heh heh.)

so i received the above invitation in my inbox. i was so excited. i mean, i haven’t been on any boat or ferry since i got here in new york. and here we were, going to take one to some place called william wall. i had no idea where that was, but i didn’t care. all i could think about was: sailor, nautical, sailor, nautical, i have no costume!!!

i popped down to the shop the day before the party, to pass something to one of my bosses, and they reminded me of the party. i told them i’ll be looking for something to wear, and that i’ll meet them at the shop to go together. because obviously i didn’t want to get lost.

i looked at our own shop first, of course. i mean, it is after all, patricia field! and i know they used to stock sailor-ish items, and my manager wears the sailor cap all the time. but i guess, i was fresh out of luck and they were fresh out of stock. so i walked over to screaming mimi’s at lafayette street and told them i had a costume party to attend. they were sooo nice and gave me 3 options to pick from!

with my costume all set, i had nothing else to worry about. i didn’t know if anyone else was buying sushi a present. i’ve only been working there about 2 months and his party was the first one i attended, so i had no idea what the “office policy” was, and i decided buying one was better than not!! so i got him a bottle of veuve clicquot from the union square wine and spirits shop.

the day of the party, i went and got my make up done by regan at mac in the flatiron building. he’s so cute and such a whiz. obviously. i mean, my make up was perfect. PERFECT.

40’s make up by regan! well, excuse the shitty hair.

on the way to the shop

(pssst!! i’ve just been told that the photo above was featured on bits and bobbins!! i’m so excited!! thank you so much, tricia!)

my roommate, mark, came with me and we arrived at the shop at about 7pm. to my horror, NO ONE was in costume. i was like, “HEY!!! why’s everyone not dressed up!!!” apparently, they all got lazy. what?!! &(*#!@^!(@*#&!(@*$^@$#^!!!!!

(did i forget to warn you guys that this is going to be such a photo fest?)

dai was playing a little game, with folded paper. i have no idea what the game is called but i used to play it when i was younger too. i didn’t know it was such a…. such an international game. hee hee!

photos by julie

so ANYWAY, we finally made our way to get to the boat. holy moly, i never knew such things were possible in new york! or that i could ever afford it! i mean, we only had to pay $10 bucks for a return trip! everyone else there at the piers were all these dressed up investment banker types who turned their noses up at us. i hoped some worm would crawl up their nostrils. we saw all these exciting huge-ass yachts and of course got ourselves all excited! i wanted to get onto the moet boat

then of course, reality bit us in our butts and reminded us that we weren’t so fabulous, when we were ushered by this lady onto a small speed boat. haha. she was from the yacht club and already a little drunk. and wouldn’t stop talking. tony wasn’t very pleased with her because she wouldn’t stop talking. just kidding. i mean he wasn’t annoyed. but she really didn’t stop talking.

floats - my best accessory

the view from the barge

we arrived at william wall, which was actually a barge in the middle of the hudson. it was so beautiful. then the most terrible thing happened. it started to rain the moment we got to the barge. it wasn’t just rain. i mean, it was fucking pouring! like a huge thunderstorm! the sky was black and the wind was howling. people started screaming and the barge was shaking. honestly, i was quite scared. it was like the titanic!! there was hardly any shelter on the deck, and the plastic chairs started flying. it got really crazy when people were actually starting to push each other to get to safety! good grief!

we got drenched and everyone was running to the lower deck. it was terrible! you know those dance steps from madonna’s vogue? yeah i was kinda doing that. to protect my make up from the thunderstorm!!

we were stuck in the lower deck for at least half an hour. then tobell comes up from nowhere, wearing a life vest! AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH i tell you, i honestly lost it. and she very nonchalantly said, “i can’t swim.” oh my god pffffft!!!

tobell is accessorising

anyway. the storm cleared up after a long while and we finally got to go back up on the deck. it was really pretty and we could see manhattan’s skyline. we could even see the statue of liberty from where we were. miss liberty was kinda far away and even though we wanted to take her picture, she refused to turn her head towards us. so obnoxious. the sky was still a little foggy, but just being there was fabulous. the sound of the waters, the fresh air… life is beautiful when you take some time to appreciate everything around you. and friends! nothing’s better than that!

the gorgeous people i work with

the birthday boy and me

the city as my backdrop

isn’t tony such a gem?

only half of sushi’s party was there because of the storm. they didn’t let anymore people take the boat over to meet us, so a lot of the people from the shop couldn’t come over to the barge. i think pat was supposed to come too but ahh well, nature wouldn’t have it. a boat came to ferry some of the other people away (there were other strangers on the barge) and told us they’ll be back to pick the rest of us soon.

so we sat around and took pictures and got drinks and had a laugh. it was hilarious. we waited for the boat for another like, hour or two!! wtf! it was getting a little cold and i had only had one drink although i’m pretty sure some of us got quite drunk!

they turned off the lights on us when we got onto the boat, so it was hard to film, but we all started singing sushi a birthday song and it was so darn funny. you can hear me giggling a few times in that video. i think people were too high to realise that they sung sushi a birthday song, twice! hahaha!

two different sailor hats from the costume store
sailor dress (there’s actually the teeniest skirt attached to it!) by screaming mimi’s
white crinoline skirt
black tights
pink watch by toy watch
studded boots by junya watanabe

i love this sailor look. i’ve never tried it before, but now that i have, i can’t stop thinking about it. i love the sailor hat, and the captain’s cap. and my new “want” is a real captain’s cap. not the cheapo one that i bought from the costume shop for $13. but a real one. anyone knows where i can buy one? heh heh. i’ll live with the cheapo one till i find a nicer one. ahh! it’s great. i love it!!

so that tops off my amazing week! i had so much fun but it’s now back to reality. boo.

more reading for the nosey parkers:
how to be a little social butterfly

i’ve been receiving quite a lot of emails recently, asking me about japan and especially tokyo. so i’ve decided to start replying them on my blog instead! if you have any questions, send them my way! or you can also leave it as a comment here. also don’t forget to check out my insider’s guide to the best of tokyo (in my opinion!!) and my other japan related posts!

here’s an email from one of my readers, bryan!

i just stayed up all night (it’s 8am now) just reading your blog. i made myself a (very unshapely) tamagoyaki 2 hours ago and ever since then i’ve been reading more random posts, particularly those on fashion and japan. just read your gilda’s guide to tokyo and i had to stop myself from reading further to avoid getting too excited and losing more sleep.

i came back from my trip to japan last month with a lotta questions (and new clothes). i will now ask you some of them that have been bugging me if you don’t mind.

with his email, bryan attached a picture of the tamagoyaki he had made. i think it looks pretty darn good, don’t you?

why do some people wear face masks? the masks like, totally ruins the look of their outfits! lol

haha! doesn’t it look like everyone has sars? there are a lot of reasons why people wear those. first of all, there are two kinds of masks sold widely in japan. one is the regular surgical mask that is sometimes used when preparing food in the kitchen of a restaurant etc. the other, is a special mask (seriously, so much research goes into this!) that one uses when one catches a flu, or does not want to catch a flu.

japan as a whole, is quite a polite society. whenever any of my friends get sick, they put on a mask. they aren’t the type of annoying people who would cough and sneeze in your face to spread their germs. or, if there is a flu bug going around, you’ll see a lot of japanese wearing these masks too, so that they won’t catch the germs. these masks also retain some moisture within themselves, which is good for when one has a cough. some are also designed to block out dirt, allergens, cigarette smoke, and pollen. so you will see plenty of people wearing the masks during seasons like spring and autumn when the pollen levels are especially crazy in japan. many japanese have hay fever!

a friend of mine adds a drop of mint or eucalyptus oil to her mask when she catches a flu. she swears it helps clear her nose and ease the tightness in her chest!

personally, i’ve tried the masks before and i can’t handle them. i have breathing problems (asthma and history of bronchitis!) and wearing masks, whether i’m sick or not, makes me feel like i don’t have enough oxygen to breathe. the only time i force myself to wear one is when i’m cleaning my room! this keeps the dust away! but every few minutes i have to stop what i’m doing, lift my mask away and take in some air. hahahaha!

photo by LeeLeFever

besides the sickness issue, sometimes, crimes in japan are committed with these masks. a lot of goth types also use it as part of their fashion dress ups. the masks are such a big part of japan’s culture, there are tons of different colors and prints now, not just white. so if you were dressing up as some goth doctor with a white coat and bloody stains, for example, the mask would complete your outfit. i had a goth lolita friend who wore a mask all the time around her neck. it was like an accessory! another former classmate of mine permanently wore a mask and for half a year, i never knew how his mouth looked like. seriously!

when i’m making a purchase at a store by credit card, why does the cashier sometimes ask “one time or two times?” (’ikkai’ or ‘nikkai’, i believe). i just say once, presuming it’s about installments. but i actually have no idea how to answer.

the japanese cashiers always have a whole string of things that they would say to you at the cashier. first of all they will thank you for shopping. then they’ll key your item in and sometimes verbally confirm how much each of your items cost. after which, they’ll say the total.

if you do hand them a credit card, what they will usually ask is something like, “お支払いは一括でよろしいですか？” (oshiharai wa ikkatsu de yoroshii desu ka?) which basically translates to, “is it alright to process your payment just once?“

if you are a japanese, or if you hold a credit card issued by a japanese bank, you have the option to pay in installments. (that’s how the regular japanese would pay for their louis vuittons, yo!)

however, as an alien in that country, you would most likely be holding a card from a foreign bank, and hence you do not have an installment option. so your answer should be “ikkatsu de onegaishimasu”. yes yes, i know that’s freaking long. so say “ikkatsu de”, and if you still can’t handle that, just point your index finger towards the sky.

do you REALLY have to leave your top on when trying on clothes in fitting rooms? i can’t tell if it fits properly like that. how do people try on stuff like tanktops?

erm… huh??? i don’t know. i’ve never heard of this. hahahah! when i try tops or dresses on, i usually take off whatever i’m already wearing on top. if i’m wearing make up, i will ask for one of those paper or cloth hoody things to wear over my head (and kinda makes you look like the kkk…oops.), before i try it on. however, some places will not allow you to try on white tops, and in those cases i ask if they have the same item in another color, try that, then decide if i want the one in white!

hope that helps! more questions to follow soon!

after 3 slightly crazy days over the july 4th weekend, i really wanted to go out to brooklyn to meet loulou, who was in town all the way from faraway lands! she had been in town all week and the bows and knickers she makes are so cute, i wanted to meet the woman who makes them! then, when i went with gala and nubby to the dances of vice event, i learned that nubby wanted to go meet her too, so we decided to meet up the next day (sunday) and hop over to brooklyn together.

photo by nubby

so we ventured out on the L train and found loulou at the artists and fleas market. loulou was so cute with her red hair! and there were some crazy similarities between nubby and loulou. for one thing, no one looks better in red lipstick than those two cuties. and, they both had the same nameplate necklaces from helpless romantic. the necklaces were so cute, i went back home and promptly ordered my own. can’t wait for it to arrive!!

photo by loulou

we also purchased pretty bows from loulou in loving support. nubby got one in red that is so perfect for her, and i bought a black gingham one! woohoo! i’ve actually made bows before but never one this big!

after meeting loulou, nubby and i headed to lunch and we found this really amazing surf bar. it had sand all over the floor! where did they get it from! the food was excellent too. i had a lobster bisque that was just delish.

dress by tsumori chisato
heart lego brooch by dee and ricky (big love!)
h&m bag
shoes by undercover
umbrella from beacon’s closet

and the funniest part of the day, was meeting these 2 guys who were dancing around this cross-street in brooklyn. i mean, they were kinda whack!! it was really funny and they were dancing to cher, who was singing so loudly from her cassette tape! hahahahaha! they noticed us filming them and came over to talk to us but it started getting slightly harassing and scary! ah!

nubby and i had a really nice and relaxing, kinda low-key day together. we had a great talk over lunch, sharing our dreams and goals. i loved it! it was so great talking to an artist and designer whose work i’ve always loved (awesome mixed media and collages!). it was such an inspiring day. i felt so empowered!!

the day ended with us laughing just ever-so-slightly hysterically, over disgusting toilet mishaps. ahahaah! can’t wait to see you on your birthday, dear nubby!

i tried to be very honest about myself when i first wrote “what i love about me“. it was a hard entry to write that took me a few days to complete. i wanted to start a little personal project. not really to “find” myself, but to tell myself, “girl, don’t let nobody tell you you can’t do anything. work it. be fierce.”

it’s a similar concept to keeping a style diary of your outfits and special get-ups. the more you see for yourself how you look in what you’re wearing (mirrors sometimes tell a lie), you’ll learn what works for you and what doesn’t. so by keeping a little archive of what i loved about myself, i figured i could always come back and look at it when i was feeling particularly shitty. because let’s be honest now, we all have days like that!

and i know reading “feel-goods” about other people somehow rubs off. so we should all rub off each other and feel groovy together. heh heh!

in all honesty and i’m so not going to lie, if you’ve been following my blog a little, you’ll know that i had such a fantastic week. i had a great weekend that i spent not only with gala and nubby, i also had the chance to meet loulou who is so darn cute!! and better yet, i am just loving my job more and more. as you know, i’m interning at patricia field and everyone there is just the nicest of people on this planet. i don’t think i’m the best worker (i do have my off days) but i really try hard and i’m just so happy doing work there, i’m taking whatever they’re giving me!

on the social level, they crack me up big time. everyone’s so cute, even though we’re not exactly best friends or anything, sometimes they make me laugh so much i want to pinch their cheeks and hug them, we had two parties in the last week. one was for independence day where we had a barbecue at pat’s house. the other party was on wednesday. it was one of my bosses’ birthday and we had it in the middle of the hudson river! (more pictures to come, once i figure out which ones i wanna put up! haha!)

so really, i am having such a good time.

meeting up with nubby and also having met gala on numerous occasions since she’s been in new york, we’ve had the chance to sort of discuss a little about our goals and dreams in life. i loved that. although i’m not that close to them, it felt good knowing people who were chasing their dreams - just as i am.

in a strange coincidence, i was randomly looking at my blog stats, which i hardly ever do, and i was getting some hits from one of gala’s old posts. it was from a comment i made, and when i read it, i had to smile to myself a little. i had said:

i’m really glad i found this blog because although we’re different in so many ways, i feel we’re so similar in many others.

gala and i are rather different on the personality level. but i think it’s great how we both work hard to make our dreams come true. so bravo to you, dear gala. and yay to me too. because i know how hard i had to work to get to where i am today. it was a very very long and winding road and although there is still so much more that i have yet to learn or experience, recently, i feel like i really have one foot in the door

what about you? what do you love about yourself? don’t be shy! pretend you’re a snooty little princess or a nose-in-the-air prince, and let me hear all about it. haha! or if you would take a picture of yourself too, i definitely want to see!!

oh gosh. what a crazy weekend! where do i even start?!?!?! i have all these pictures i want to upload, it’s gonna be a mighty long-ass post if i squeeze it all together!! like a MAJOR photo fest. so i’m gonna try and do separate the posts out. hope you’re ready for it!!

july 5th, 2008

gala told me about this amazing costume event held by dances of vice in brooklyn. i wasn’t that keen on traveling so far and spending money but i heard the word “costume” and perked up. any chance to dress up, i’m there! although i’m really broke and should actually be confined to my room. thank god i already had the outfit i needed, beckoning at me in my closet. so the only thing i spent on was taxi fares and entrance fees!

i knew immediately what i wanted to wear (although of course i did fret over two dresses), but i was more concerned about hair and make up. hair and make up!!! that was so important for the 1920s era!!! after some research on the internet that only showed me some boring pictures, i remembered that the fashion god, mr galliano himself, had done a flapper inspired collection for his fall 2007 collection, and after looking at style.com, i got my perfect inspiration images.

oh yeah, baby. i’m not a make-up pro, nor will i ever achieve anything as amazing as that, but boy was i going to try. and i had about 20 minutes to do it. my eyes took about 10 and all i did was smudge a heck lot of black liner and shadow on it, put in some major white highlight under my brow bone, then i tried to conceal up my brow hairs and drew a really thin, and super long line in its place.

i looked like a drag queen but oh my god i loved it!!! and of course, i don’t own no lip pencil and the last time i ever lined my lips was about 3 years ago. so i tried to get my lips done just by drawing it on with the pointy edge of my lipstick. not very easy, but whatever! i looked like i was ready for halloween and that made me happy! i know so many people were staring at me on the street like i was some insane psycho, but i couldn’t care less. i was so excited! if i had more make-up brushes and color options than my ridiculously pitiful pile, i honestly would have loaded it on more, like how galliano did it.

i met gala at her apartment, fucking late because i lost my id and was turning my entire apartment upsde-down looking for it. with her was nubby twiglet, a designer whose work i have admired since i first forayed into this blogging world!

i was just amazed when we got to the montauk club. literally, my eyes opened so wide and i was stunned. the place was amazing, everyone was so dressed up (except for a few people who were in singlets and bermudas and should have been kicked out). i’ve never seen anything quite like it. i wanted to talk to everyone but i was just so shocked, i forgot my english. so i basically just stood around and people-watched. it was amazing. so darn amazing!!!

the moment we go there, gala spotted molly crabapple, who looked fantastic in her corset. i got to know of molly and her work soon after i first came to new york in late august 2007. she is the founder of dr. sketchy’s anti-art school. since i first heard about it, i’ve been always dying, dying to go, but no one would go with me and i’m too chicken to turn up myself. she offered to sketch us. ok i know she is a pro and all that, and i’m just a miserable fashion student, but wow, that girl was working it in her corset. she was fast!!! i think she got us down in like, 5, 10 minutes. gala and nubby were chatting with her. i was too busy looking at her markers flying all over the page! new found respect, and now i really need to drag someone with me to dr. sketchy’s!

i think gala and nubby didn’t really enjoy themselves, because the event wasn’t really what they had expected. they sat on a couch for a while, chatting. nubby’s friend, voltaire, came over to sit and talk too. i loved what he was wearing but the music was loud and there was no space on the couch for me to sit and join in. besides, i was having way too much fun looking at everyone!! unlike gala and nubby, i went there with absolutely no expectations. in fact, it exceeded my “expectations”, because almost everyone was dressed to the nines!!

the band was playing, people were dancing, and i was looking at clothes. oh my god i tell you, i was having the time of my life.

don’t they look absolutely amazing?

i’m so glad i went. i mean, i really love dressing up but it has been a while since i actually wore THIS much make up.

click*click to view close-up!

ruffled cape by betsey johnson
dress by chloe
queen alice ring by tarina tarantino
lace-up shoes by irregular choice

do i look flapperish enough? i wish i knew how to do my hair, but i didn’t, so i just left it as it was. isn’t it crazy that i got this look from my regular closet? i’m a little proud of myself. haha!! the only thing i added were the fake pearls that gala generously bought for me from some costume store, because i only owned two little strands of pearls. ooh!!! and i also brought along my femme sud clutch!!! i loved it!

i had an amazing night. the worst thing that happened? i had never worn those shoes before this night and although i have like 5 pairs of irregular choice shoes and love them and they have never given me problems, for some stupid reason this pair was a little too large! so my feet kept slipping out and it was so hard to walk. so my toes were kinda all curled up inside trying to keep my shoes in. i’m sure you girls have had such experiences before!! you’d know what i mean. it was terrible and i tried not to complain about it, but after a while it got way too much for me to handle and i started keeping really quiet because i was biting down on my lip and wincing a little. i mean, i kept my cool on the outside, but on the inside i was like… messed up.

so you know how i talked about nubby’s friend, voltaire? i didn’t have the chance to talk much to him because i had no seat to sit, and the music was a little too loud for me to hear anything anyway. i mean, i did try! honest to god. i sort of (very unladylike, but then i’m no lady) squatted down to get to eye-level with all 3 of them, but although i squatted down 3 times (i wish someone got a picture of me doing this) to try to talk, it was just impossible and i couldn’t hear anything so i just gave up each time. but as the event was ending and we were leaving, voltaire asked where i was from and i said “singapore.” and he was like, “i knew it! i know that accent from anywhere!”

and of course, i was rolling my eyes and going, “yeah right!!!” i mean, a few weeks ago i posted up my ethnic collection called singapura, and i mentioned that some people had never heard of singapore before. and here was this guy telling me he knew exactly where i was from! from my accent! i was like, “ok you’re just bullshitting me, because NO ONE would think of singapore! it’s so random right?” i mean most people would say hong kong or taiwan or something!

and then you know what he did? he started singing one of singapore’s old songs!!! i mean, this is a song that every singaporean will know. and it’s something a little embarrassing that other people shouldn’t hear of. it’s called “one people, one nation, one singapore.” we’ve all learnt it in school, we sing it every national day… i mean we don’t all sing it but you know what i mean. it’s something that is sung every national day, and i don’t know how voltaire knew that song but he did and i was stunned! flabbergasted! speechless! my mouth dropped open and i was going “ohmygodohmygod!!!” seriously, click on that link and watch the “music video” on youtube, and then press play below to hear him sing the rock version.

i am so in awe of voltaire now, you have no idea. i showed my roommate the video of him and my roommate, who is from malaysia (which is RIGHT next to singapore), hadn’t even heard of the song before! i had to search youtube to let him hear the original song! he made my night. and then gala and nubby told me who he was, like what he did, and that kinda stunned me even more.

oh gosh. what a crazy weekend! where do i even start?!?!?! i have all these pictures i want to upload, it’s gonna be a mighty long-ass post if i squeeze it all together!! like a MAJOR photo fest. so i’m gonna try and do separate the posts out. hope you’re ready for it!!

july 4th, 2008

it was my first time experiencing independence day ever!! i mean, that was pretty exciting, considering that the only “independence day” that i have experienced so far, was will smith’s amazing movie. (can that guy do no wrong?)

and of course, i spent it working! haha. well, honestly, what was i supposed to do anyway. i’m not american and i have no reason to celebrate! as the intern at pat field’s, my job is to also help out with party preparations. although i don’t think that’s the official job description. but who cares?? and when you love your job, it never feels like work. i love preparing for a party. actually, i didn’t have to do much because julie and tobell had already gotten almost everything ready. all i had to do was to help cut vegetables, wrap them up in foil, and then i was in charge of the skewers!! tobell and julie were amazing. oh my god tobell was amazing. that girl can cook! she was fierce! she made this hickory bbq sauce that smelled so divine and when i ate those chicken wings and pork chops…. really it was so good.

food, drinks and mingling at the backyard

aren’t they all so gorgeous?

the crowd started trickling in and at the last minute i called my good friend, tony, to come keep me company. tony was my classmate last semester at parsons and i love him to death. he comes up with the funniest trend word that cracks me up. i knew he would enjoy himself at the party. i mean, there were so many good-looking people, more than enough for him to ogle at. hee hee! i wanted him to come to the last payless party as my date but after a lot of tralala, gala came as my plus one.

tony was the drink mix-master. he got me pretty high.

it was a really laid-back, casual little barbeque. tony was a bad boy at the bar. he made all our drinks and if i appeared drunk, it was all his fault. by the end of the night we were both a little smashed like we were pathetic high school kids! how embarrassing! also, i had spent the day skewering prawns and smelled a little shrimpy, so i was glad i brought wipes along and also a change of clothes!! i’d stayed up the night before sewing a pair of sequinned sarouel pants to wear to the party. oh my god i’m so glad i did.

i got SO many compliments that night!! i didn’t know 99% of all the people that were at the party, but so many of them came up to say that they loved my pants! and of course it was the best compliment ever and i was like, “oh thank you!!! i made them last night!!!”

seriously!! it is a wannabe designer’s (me, duh.) equivalent of an orgasm or something!! i have a few orders to make these pants. i’m so excited, i’m sweating just thinking about it.

clickety*click for bigger views!

skull tshirt by alexander mcqueen
sequinned sarouel pants by me
toy necklace by mercibeaucoup
rubber beach flipflops by havaianas

you know, call me what you want, a fashion snob if you will, but as far as i’m concerned, i was taught that these pants were called sarouel pants, not harem pants. well, at least that was what was printed in my textbook when i studied in japan, and that’s what everyone, all the magazines included, called it too. and while the world is catching on with this trend only now, the japanese were wearing these years and years ago. rei kawakubo and junya watanabe of comme des garcons were making sarouel pants from like, god knows when. my first sarouel pants were purchased in tokyo 5 years ago, and they were vintage comme des garcons from the 90s. i think they are widely called harem pants now, but if you know your fashion vocabulary, harem pants are supposed to be loose and baggy all over and then fit with a cuff, just like a puff sleeve would.

anyway!

the party was over at about 11 and after helping to clean up, i was home at midnight. with no sleep from the night before, hardly any food to eat (i was so busy talking i only nibbled a little!), and at least 15 cocktails, the alcohol basically hit exactly where they needed to hit. i wasn’t drunk, but i was certainly quite high, and when i got home i took a shower and hit the sheets. it’s been a long time since i fell asleep so fast