i’m so tired i can’t even explain how tired i am.
when i had a hiatus a while ago because of problems with my blogging platform, i never thought i’d take so much time off it again. but it seems i’ve been quite inexistent in the past week or so eh?
i’m really sorry.
those of you who follow me on twitter would know that i’ve been in really bad shape recently, and although i’m feeling good and am generally laughing and joking around all day (while bitching nonstop with all my friends about school), i fainted in my bathroom yesterday. it was quite a sudden thing and i had no idea it was coming. in fact, when i regained consciousness, i found myself sitting on the floor against my sink, and realised that i had hit my head so hard against the freakin’ toilet bowl (thank god i didn’t drown in it. haha!), my head had a huge bump, and i had somehow managed to dislodge the seat cover!! don’t know how that happened.
after i recovered from the daze and twittered about it, i received quite a number of kind responses, emails, and even texts on my phone. i love you guys, you’re all so nice.
i guess the stress has really piled on or something, i have no idea. i’ve always had really bad health and spent most of my childhood sick, in and out of hospital. now i have headaches all the time and hardly get proper sleep. it’s usually no sleep for a couple of days, then an hour or so in between, and major catching up on the zzz during the weekend.
it’s really my own fault – i have super bad time management although i’m getting way better at it. but i think the main reason is that no matter how early i start something, i want it to be perfect or i’d rather not do it at all. and because i’m not as fast at design illustration and painting as i wish to be, it takes me forever to finish a collection that takes some of my highly skilled friends 3 hours.
i know i want to go down this road to being a fashion designer, but honestly i don’t know whether all this stress is worth it. i don’t even think it is supposed to be as bad as this. parsons is just trying to take all our money and stress us out and then try to fail us.
but i want it so bad, i simply can’t give it up right now.
no. way.
and certainly not after i posted that entry about following your dreams!
speaking of which, after that post i’ve read all your comments, and many of you emailed me privately. it was all very touching and i’m so happy that that entry spoke to some of you. i had written a follow up entry, but after reading all your responses i feel i need to work on it more thoroughly.
so it will be up this weekend, i promise.
in the meantime, i’m typing this in bed because i’m feeling woozy. it’s 9am and i’m supposed to be in class now, and i’m probably gonna get in trouble for missing it. i need to go to the doctor’s later to get some tests done and find out why in god’s name did i faint.
i can’t miss any more classes after this. i hate our stupid attendance policy. fuck you parsons.
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You poor thing!
I really hope you’re feeling better soon and get a chance to catch up on some much needed sleep.
Don’t let extra things stress you too much – if you take another break from blogging we will still be here when you get back
GILDA! pls take care. nothing’s worth sacrificing your health
Resting now and missing one class is better than making yourself worse and missing more later on
You sound a little like me – in my final year of my undergrad degree I ended up setting myself super-early deadlines so that I would only take on one task at a time, then stressing myself out enough to stick to them instead of ignoring them in favour of the original deadline and ending up stressing over three pieces of work at once. I still lost sleep over it!
Get well soon
Oh Gilda!
I read your tweet and I got so worried. I’m glad to hear that you are a little better though.
Kisses.
Take care of yourself hun… and I’m going to be a bit scandalous here and say “FUCK Parson’s attendance requirement!” – if they can’t accept that you have been working yourself ragged and are clearly unwell, that’s their problem. You need to get back on track with your health first.
Sending you positive sparkly “get better” vibes, hun… really worried I can’t be there to check on you.
Look after yourself lovely! Rest up & I hope you feel better soon xo
Hope you’re feeling better now. Not enough nasi? Gotta makan a bit more eh?
that’s so scary, hitting your head and all! please take care of yourself, and it’s good to hear you’re going to the dr. perhaps you need to give up one thing in your life, not school! but just put it on hiatus for a while.
So sorry to hear about your school stresses! I hope that you can take a break and clear your head soon. Parsons sounds like a nightmare – let’s hope it’s doing you a favour by preparing you for the worst of the worst in the fashion world. Fingers crossed that everything gets a little easier from here for you.
oh no fainting ain’t cool. unfortunately I know what it feels like. dunno if you get the semi-conscious state of mind before you wake up. it’s horrible.
anyway, make sure you have enough sugar in your blood. sometime you faint because you are low on calcium. check that out. take care. sleep will tax you later on.
all the best, and take care! I need your great designs for my future rock star career in Japan wtfbbq hahaha (ok that was just too selfish of me hah)
lav ya!
Oh, honey! And here I was thinking that stuff at my school was insane.
I really, genuinely hope that you do begin to feel better soon. It sounds like you’re working yourself really hard at the moment – but take care. Burn-out is sucky, but the best thing you can do is to just look after yourself! If you go see a doctor, he might be able to let you know if you’re deficient on anything and prescribe you some supplements! Otherwise, drink lots of tea and eat lots of cupcakes!
I really do hope you begin feeling better soon!
xoxo
i hope you’re feeling better, passing out like that with no warning can be terrifying. it happened to me last year when i was in the shower, for no apparent reason, and it’s never happened again. strange.
have you been to the doctor? you should probably get a check-up just in case xo
Sounds like you’ve been working too hard! I really hope you get to feeling better. <3
I hope you feel better soon my dear. keep up a good intake of vitamins, fresh fruit and veg and a lot of water. maybe even a bit of yoga will help calm you down and ease the stress? i always find it helps me sleep. and don’t worry about shitty parsons – you are the most important thing in your life and you come first!
<3
Get better soon =) <3
gilda, i hope you’re getting plenty of rest and taking things slowly.
i know what you mean about stress affecting your sleep. for me, it’s more of an emotional thing.
take care of yourself!
That’s why you should get one of those funny cushions you can attach to the toilet seat! Keeps your bum warm and avoids damaging your head when fall against it!!
Don’t overwork yourself.. and yes yay for the weekend! I LOVE sleeping in. And of course, just the simple fact that I don’t have to go to work ugh yucky yucky work.
Happy days gilda
goodness! yes please make time to go visit the doctor. and, maybe try to eat healthy and catch winks while on the subway or something?
i cannot believe parsons is being this ridiculous, no way you are giving up alright! fight fight fight! cos at the end of the day, if you give in, you’re giving in to the institution, not waving your white flag at being a fashion designer yknow?
big hugs and love and maybe pad your toilet!
That’s so awful! I really hope you are feeling better. I have low iron & often have blackouts & dizzy spells..it can be very scary especially when I’m in the shower! I hope you are relaxing & feeling better!
This is my get better hug :::::::squeeze::::::::
I hope they figure out what it is. I’m glad you did take one class off. I know it’s hard, but I’m sure for medical reasons they have to honor an absence.
Your designs and attitude are fabulous and I think you’ll do really well on the path you’re on, just don’t let all the stress get you down!
oh man. =/ i hope you feel better. you must really be stressed out even more after that fainting spell. you need to take some time off m’dear. =/
ohh get better soon love!
xxx
Oh dear, this is horrible.
Parsons reminds me of parsnips, and parsnips are demode, hmm?
Lots of love,
Karl
I hope you feel better and get some total R&R. School can be rough sometimes but hang in there dear. You’ll be so proud when you have your shiny diploma in your hand.
I do hope you get better and that everything falls into place soon. Sometimes we don’t realise how hard we’re working ourselves until it shows up in other ways. Keep focusing on your dreams but make sure that it doesn’t jeopardise your health – you should always come first!
*LE GASP* Please look after yourself Gilda! Fainting is no fun. *hugs*
hey Gilda, i hope you’re feeling better. school can always get stressful, but plz take care of yourself..YOU are way more important than any school assignment. i hope you managed to catch some much needed RnR over the weekend. *hugz*
Hope you’re well Gilda. Remember to look after yourself.
Love Leanne
Awww, Gilda – I’m so sorry to hear about everything :< You’re such a little superstar and a hard worker, but you have to take care of yourself, lovely! I’ve been meaning to e-mail you for a while now, just to let you know that I’m thinking/worrying/sending you lots of magical heal-y vibes about/to you! Look after yourself sweetnes, and if there’s anything that I can do to help you out, let me know! xxx
oh sweets! take care, that is not somehting to ignore.. find yourself a good chiropractor, you might have neck strain from all that hunching over drawing and sewing. I will give you this one for free. When your neck feels tight and sore, get a small hand towel, roll up and place under your neck so that your head is off the floor when you are lying down. Then push your head down, you are lying face up, until it touches the ground, try to go as straight as possible, hold it a while and then release and do it at least 5 times, it will really help with neck stess. be well sweets!
Hi cupcake, hope things are getting better for you. You haven’t posted in a while, so I’m hoping that’s just because you’re very busy, in a good way!
Anyway, I tagged you for a meme on my blog. Keep it going when you have a minute!
http://www.lesleydenford.com/2008/10/little-about-lesley.html
Thinking about you, dear, hope you’re feeling better. ♥
Just discovered your blog (which is beautiful). I really hope you feel better soon!
Gilda, the weekend is over and done with!
Where are you?
Hey ~ I found ur blog about a month ago…always come here and check if u are updating ur blog…a u 2 busy to write? hope to see u post something new soon !!
Gildaaaa, where are youuuu? x
You must take care of yourself! You can`t put a price on health!