it is about 11pm here in singapore as i type this, and in a couple of hours, it will be a new year and a new decade. i know it’s all cliche and i know everyone’s talking about the same thing, but this is really a time of year to reflect and think about my life.
am i going down the right roads, making the right choices? am i really following my dreams? am i becoming the person i want to be?
2009 was an amazing year for me. amazing because i can’t count the number of times i got sick due to stress and a weakened immune system. and amazing because it really was, truely quite amazing. the opportunities that came my way, the way things seemed to somehow work out, the people i met who had an impact in my life… after all these years of “dreaming” my dream, it was as if everything was finally falling into place and i seemed to be walking in the right direction.
a lot more is going to happen in the next year, and i’m really gearing myself up to be able to handle the stress and the sleepless nights when i would have to stay awake working. but i know it’s all gonna make sense in the end. i know i’m not going to regret the effort. i just know, deep in my heart, that 2010 is gonna be a huge year for me.
and i may not know you, but i hope with all my heart that it will be huge for you too.
we can make it happen. i know we can. i’m not an annoyingly positive person, but there are things that are in our grasp, things that we can control, and i just want to believe.
i want to share with you 3 of my favourite quotes that i have kept in some journal of mine for the longest time. to me, they are powerful and say so much in a few short sentences.
i wasn’t born this way. one creates oneself. i believe whatever i dream. whatever i dream, i want to do.
- grace jones
i’ve always been a rebel. i never do things the way they’re supposed to be done. either i go in the opposite direction or i create a new direction for myself, regardless of what the rules are or what society says.
- grace jones
a small group of thoughtful people could change the world. indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
– anthropologist margaret mead
so you see, it is completely possible. we might not be able to change the whole world, but we can certainly change the world around us. don’t let “fate” be your excuse. you can create your own future. i am going to mold my own, and i hope you would too!
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ok, so i’m not gonna be so pretentious and claim that i don’t have a wishlist. i do. in another more materialistic view, there are so many other things i want for myself now, and so i threw it all onto an image to share it with you, and to remind myself to go out there and work my ass off till i get this for myself!
(these photos belong to style.com, nozio.com, wallpaperbase.com, engadget.com, nikon.co.jp, and viviennewestwoodonline.co.uk. thanks!)
all these items from comme des garcons and junya watanabe that i’ve loved all my life (i’ve so many garcons items in my wardrobe but it never seems to be enough), from recent seasons that i’ve lusted and drooled over. i want want want so bad. i don’t care if it’s gonna take me another year to be able to afford them, i just hope i can find them for sale, one day when i get some money.
ahh yes, and those vivienne westwood pirate boots that i’ve also wanted for about 4 years now, but everytime i save up money for it, the moment it seems just enough, i somehow go out there and buy something junya. so erm, yeah, it’s time i learn how to control myself and finally get those boots!!
ooh an a dslr. i need one. no really, i’m not being greedy here, but i do need one for school and work. i can’t afford something super smancy-fancy, just a nikon d90 would do, thanks.
and lastly, i do so want to go to london. like how i always betray vivienne and fall back in lust with junya, everytime i think i wanna go to london for a holiday, i let that go and run back to japan. (after all, i did live there for almost 4 years, you know, i do love that place). but it’s like a relationship with a very very bad boy whom you know is so bad for you but he’s so fucking hot and when you get together it’s so damn good. you know what i mean? i know you do. japan is my bad boy and i want to be there so bad.
correct that, japan is the land where my bad boys live, and those bad boys come in the form of a 5 member group called smap. ever since i got to know about them and became such a teenybopper because of them, i’ve been going to watch their concerts each year. i had to pass up their last concert because i couldn’t miss school (another reason to hate parsons), and it killed me. i literally went through months of depression because i knew they were having a concert tour in japan and i was stuck in new york, very far away. so i need to go back, go back to being their fan, because that is one of the rare places where i’m just with a non-stop smile and i feel like i’m on cloud nine.
you see what i mean? smap is my drug. and i’m addicted. that’s why i have to go back.
and so i will, one day, i will move my ass back to tokyo. and 2010 will be a huge stepping stone for that to happen.
i’ve got big plans, i know. but watch me.
oh! and the clock just struck 12 and there are fireworks going off. happy new year!!
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